I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
