My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
