Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
This is my gift to your gina
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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