you guys were way drunker than both of me
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
