Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
