He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
