is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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