if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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