there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
