direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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