You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
