I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
