the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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