Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
