haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
