Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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