Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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