i jhust puked up my retainher.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
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