He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
