Kiss
Puke
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
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