Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
