Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
