he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
well most of my day revolves around power hour
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
