My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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