piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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