walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
