Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
