Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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