Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
