There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
