so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
