I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
