I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
