i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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