wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
