They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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