I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
