I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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