don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
