Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Randomize
