guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
