is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Randomize
