Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
