Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
