The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
