There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
