can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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