Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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