Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
