Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
high people should be assigned attendants
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize