I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
