I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
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