I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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