I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
